‘Guess what I’ve found.’ He’s rocking to and fro like one of those wobbly toys. He has his hands behind his back.
‘I have no idea. Do tell me.’
‘No go on, guess.’ His grin is as wide as the M25.
‘Um, ok. You’ve found my credit card that you lost last week.
‘No. No.’
‘I know, my pot of pills that you took upstairs and put, who knows where.’
The M25 smile is reduced to a single lane. He stops rocking. But still his hands remain hidden.
‘Not that either.’
‘Don’t tell me you’ve found my car keys. Were they in your jacket because…’
‘This. I’ve found this and it was free! He brings his hands in front of him to reveal… a plastic bag.