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Monthly Archives: December 2017

Footpads vs Muggers

26 Tuesday Dec 2017

Posted by ninevoices in Ed, Vocabulary, Writing Historical Fiction

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

18th century, Chemists, Crime, Footpads, Muggers

I should stop reading novels set in the 18th century.

The other dark evening I went to join a group of family and friends at a pub on our local common, a little way from the road and reached by an unlit path lined by bushes on one side. On arrival I announced that I had arrived safely, unmolested by footpads. None of the seven people present knew what I was talking about; none know the word ‘footpad’. Was I referring to something bought in the footcare section of the local chemist?

Had I said ‘mugger’ I’d have been understood but my announcement would not have had the intended jocular effect. (Not that being a footpad’s victim would have been any less unpleasant than being a mugger’s …)

So, repeating the question Maggie asked last week in her posting https://ninevoices.wordpress.com/2017/12/17/does-historical-fiction-need-purple-prose/, should a historical novelist use a word contemporary with her or his setting but unknown to most readers today? Would they look the word up, or skate over it and guess at the meaning; or would its use be off-putting? Hmm.

Jingle Bells

23 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by ninevoices in Maggie

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Christmas Gifts

This little exchange between my other half and my stepson was posted back in December 2015 – but I don’t expect much will have changed in the interim. Opening Christmas gifts from one’s menfolk is always full of surprises…

(A telephone rings)

OH: (Shouting up the stairs) I’ll get it! (Mumble, mumble, mumble) Okay, I’ll find out. (Shouting again) It’s Andrew! What do you want for Christmas?

Me: (Shouting down the stairs) A scarf would be nice. Something floaty. A soft, pinky mauve…

OH: She wants a scarf. What? Oh, blue, I expect.

Me: (A despairing shout) No! PINK…!

OH: (Fading towards garden) What did you think of Saturday’s match…?

 

Have a great Christmas everyone, with lots of creative surprises.

Does Historical Fiction Require Purple Prose?

17 Sunday Dec 2017

Posted by ninevoices in Crime, Historical, Maggie, Writing

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

crime writing, Dame Hilary Mantel, Georgette Heyer, Good Housekeeping Novel Competition, Jessie Burton, Margaret Kirk, Shadow Man, The Miniaturist, Writing Historical Fiction

Here’s a question – should I use ‘colourful’ language to convey life in the eighteenth century?

The prologue of Jessie Burton‘s debut novel, The Miniaturist, about to hit our TV screens on Boxing Day, is as rich as an embroidered sleeve and transports you to the affluence and dissipation of her chosen time and place:

‘words are water in Amsterdam, they flood your ears and set the rot and the church’s east corner is crowded…guildsmen and their wives approach the gaping grave like ants toward honey… The church’s painted roof…rises above them like the tipped-up hull of a magnificent ship. It is a mirror to the city’s soul; inked on its ancient beams, Christ in judgement holds his sword and lily, a golden cargo breaks the waves, the Virgin rests on a crescent moon.’

Okay, I can’t hope to match that, so would I be safer sticking to plain. twenty-first-century English, which can be equally gripping?

A world away from eighteenth-century Holland is the taut opening of Margaret Kirk‘s psychological thriller, Shadow Man, which won the Good Housekeeping Debut Novel Competition in 2016 and is set in contemporary Inverness.

‘By midnight there are bodies everywhere. Her tiny flat is crammed to bursting, but people are still stumbling through the door, waving packs of Stella or Strongbow and wrapping her in Cheerful beery hugs.
She doesn’t remember inviting them all – doesn’t recognise half of them, when she stops to think about it – but so what. For the last four years, she’s been juggling coursework with her shifts at the all-night garage, slogging away at her degree while it felt like the rest of the world was out getting laid, or legless. Or both.’

Using minimal description, this writing convincingly evokes a student party. There’s also that clever ‘bodies everywhere’, hinting at further – dead – bodies to come.* No wonder the novel grabbed the judges’ attention.

Yet few of us are familiar with Georgian London, so how am I to write my own book, The Maid’s List, without sounding like a pastiche of Georgette Heyer? Dame Hilary Mantel has written of ‘the need to broker a compromise between then and now’. Easier said than done, if you’re neither Mantel nor Burton.

On this blog we write about books, about reading and about writing, but never share our own draft efforts. Perhaps we should, since I believe it helps to see how others struggle to get their stories onto the computer screen. I’m therefore giving you an extract from The Maid’s List, complete with a touch of purple that I’m still working to eradicate.

‘I’m convinced these men are no better than my master, and wonder afresh what they do gathered around that table, with voices that seem to haggle like those of market traders. Silk-stockinged men, with gold-topped canes, sprawled in the worn leather chairs, with their knees spread wide and lace frothing at their cuffs. I rattle the glasses on my tray, to warn them I’m at the door. One of them has taken the pot from the cabinet and is pissing into it. He glances up from the yellow stream and grins as if to say, you’ll have the privilege of emptying this. Which, indeed, I will. Probably while it is still warm.’

As always, I suppose it’s down to the individual write to do the best she/he can. After all, the more variety there is in books, the richer the reader experience.

 

 

*Spoiler alert: having recently started Shadow Man, I could be jumping to conclusions here!

The Second Sentence Christmas Quiz – The Answers

12 Tuesday Dec 2017

Posted by ninevoices in Classics, Ed, Fiction, Writercraft

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Christmas, Quiz

In my previous post giving the Second Sentence Christmas Quiz questions (https://ninevoices.wordpress.com/2017/12/09/the-second-sentence-christmas-quiz/) I promised to reveal the answers today.

I now know that some people wish to tackle the quiz later and so would prefer me not to put the answers in public view before then. Accordingly, the answers are hidden in the Comment to this post.

Preparing the answers has shown me an egregious mistake, in question 14, caused by my imperfect editing. I’m so sorry! Grovel grovel.

The Second Sentence Christmas Quiz

09 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by ninevoices in Classics, Ed, Fiction, Writercraft

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Christmas, Quiz

We all know the importance of the first sentence of your novel.  But I’ve never seen the experts talking about the second sentence.   If you’re meeting up with your writing or literary friends this festive season, you could try this quiz on them. Answers on Tuesday.

Of what novels are the following the second sentences?

  1.  Michaelmas Term lately over, and the Lord Chancellor sitting in Lincoln’s Inn Hall.

2 We had been wandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning, but since dinner (Mrs Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre, and a rain so penetrating, that further out-door exercise was now out of the question.

3 Winston Smith, his chin nuzzled into his breast in an effort to escape the vile wind, slipped through the glass doors of Victory Mansions, though not quickly enough to prevent a swirl of gritty dust from entering along with him.

4  Some years ago – never mind how long precisely – having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.

5 The weather had changed overnight, when a backing wind brought a granite sky and a mizzling rain with it, and although it was now only a little after two o’clock in the afternoon the pallor of a winter evening seemed to have closed upon the hills, cloaking them in mist.

6 Pray, my dear, quoth my mother, have you not forgot to wind up the clock?———Good G__! cried my father, making an exclamation, but taking care to moderate his voice at the same time,——Did ever woman, since the creation of the world, interrupt a man with such a silly question?

7 Her hand and wrist were so finely formed that she could wear sleeves not less bare of style than those in which the Blessed Virgin appeared to Italian painters; and her profile as well as her stature and bearing seemed to gain the more dignity from her plain garments, which by the side of provincial fashion gave her the impressiveness of a fine quotation from the Bible, – or from one of our elder poets, – in a paragraph of to-day’s newspaper.

8 With the ring of light from his lantern dancing from side to side, he lurched across the yard, kicking off his boots at the back door, drew himself a last glass of beer from the barrel in the scullery, and made his way up to bed, where Mrs Jones was already snoring.

9 Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.

10 Ursula was stitching a piece of brightly-coloured embroidery, and Gudrun was drawing upon a board which she held on her knee.

11 However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

12 They [the moon’s silver rays] shone on turret and battlement; peeped respectfully in upon Lord Emsworth’s sister, Lady Hermione Wedge, as she creamed her face in the Blue Room; and stole through the open window of the Red Room next door, where there was something really worth looking at – Veronica Wedge, to wit, Lady Hermione’s outstandingly beautiful daughter, who was lying in bed staring at the ceiling and wishing she had some decent jewellery to wear at the forthcoming County Ball. [Author and series of books sufficient here for the usual mark – extra marks if you can name the actual novel!]

13 A black servant, who reposed on the box beside the fat coachman, uncurled his bandy legs as soon as the equipage drew up opposite Miss Pinkerton’s shining brass plate, and as he pulled the bell, at least a score of young heads were seen peering out of the narrow windows of the stately old brick house.

14 It couldn’t have anything to do with him, he’d been flying for days without sleep.

15 My father got the dog drunk on cherry brandy at the party last night.

16 I remember him as if it were yesterday as he came plodding to the inn door, his sea-chest following behind him in a hand-barrow; a tall, strong, heavy, nut-brown man; his tarry pigtail falling over the shoulders of his soiled blue coat; his hands ragged and scarred, with black, broken nails; and the sabre cut across one cheek, a dirty, livid white.

17 Over the main entrance the words, CENTRAL LONDON HATCHERY AND CONDITIONING CENTRE, and, in a shield, the World State’s motto, COMMUNITY, IDENTITY, STABILITY.

The Opening Chapter

06 Wednesday Dec 2017

Posted by ninevoices in Ed, Fiction, Read Lately, Writercraft

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Balloons, Daphne du Maurier, Enduring Love, Ian McEwan, M40, Rebecca, Vicar of Dibley

The opening chapter – it must really work, we’re taught. Maybe it’s the bit a potential agent would read. Maybe it’s the bit that a browser in a bookshop will look at. Maybe it’s the bit that will make a reader decide whether to carry on reading …

One of the most exciting opening chapters I’ve read is that of Enduring Love by Ian McEwan. This was recommended by our creative writing tutor, and as soon as I read it I could see why. Its dramatic account of a balloon ride gripped me. I think of it every time I drive down the escarpment on the M40 where it’s set (going towards Oxford, near Stokenchurch – as in the film shown during the opening credits of ‘The Vicar of Dibley’). Curiously, after that amazing start, the subject matter of the rest of the book drifts away from balloons. But that opening definitely made me read on.

The opening chapter of the book I’m reading now, Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca, is another Must Read On one. Its description of the abandoned and overgrown Manderley is all the more evocative as it’s a dream, and reads with all the mystery and menace that a dream can have.

What opening chapters stay in your memory?

Egg on Face Time

02 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by ninevoices in Competitions to Enter, Maggie

≈ Leave a comment

Please note that the H E Bates Short Story Competition has a deadline of Monday, 4th December – NOT Wednesday 6th December.

My apologies, I wouldn’t want you to waste your entry money…

Competitions to Enter in December – and the beginning of January

02 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by ninevoices in Competitions to Enter, Maggie

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Arcadia Science Fiction Short Story Competition, Deborah Rogers Writers Award, Magic Oxygen Literary Prize, Ruth Rendell Short Story Competition, Short stories, Stephen E King, Templar Poetry Awards, The Mogford Prize, The Orwell Prize

H E Bates Short Story Competition. A maximum of 2,000 words on any subject. Prizes: £500; £100; £50. Entry fee £6. Deadline 4 December. Details: http://www.hebatescompetition.org.uk/competition-rules

Amnesty International York Short Story Contest. Maximum 1,700 words on the theme of ‘Borders‘. Prizes: £50, plus signed novel and publication on Amnesty International York website. Deadline: 10 December. Details: yorkamenstyuk.blogspot.co.uk/p/competition.html

Deborah Rogers Writers Award. First 20,000-30,000 words of an unpublished novel by a debut author. Prizes: £10,000. Deadline: 15 December. Award is in memory of literary agent Deborah Rogers. Details: deborahrogers-foundation.org

Templar Poetry – Quarterly Portfolio Awards. 10-12-page portfolio. Entry fee: £12. Prize: publication. Deadline 18 December. Details: templarpoetry.com/pages/submissions-and-awards

Ruth Rendell Short Story Competition for flash fiction. Maximum 1,000 words. Prize: £1,000 plus commission of four further stories. Entry fee: £15. Deadline 22 December. Details: http://www.interactstrokesupport.org/news/ruth-rendell-short-story-competition-2017

Arcadia Science Fiction Short Story Competition. Short story of maximum 5,000 words. Rules: age 18-plus, no children’s stories or erotica. Entry fee: £5.50. Prize: percentage of anthology royalties. Deadline 31 December. Details: http://www.audioarcadia.com/science-fiction-competition

Magic Oxygen Literary Prize. Poem: maximum 50 lines. Short Story: maximum 4,000 words, excluding title. Rules: age 15-plus. Prizes: £1,000; £300, £100; 2x£50. Entry fee: £5. Details: http://www.magicoxygen.co.uk Entry fees contribute to the planting of trees in Africa.

The Mogford Prize for a 2,500 word story on the theme of food and drink. Prize: £10,000. Entry fee: £10.Deadline: 3 January. Details: http://www.oxford-hotels-restaurants.co.uk/mogford prize

The Orwell Prize 2018 – for non-fiction: journalism, books, political writing. Entry is FREE. Prizes: £3,000 in each category. Deadline 11 January. Details: http://www.orwell-foundation.org

Times/Chicken House Children’s Fiction Competition for full-length novels, 30,000-80,000 words, suitable for readers aged 7-18. Prizes: Publication deal worth £10,000. All long-listed writers receive an editorial report. Entry fee: £15. Deadline: 18 December. Details: http://www.chickenhousebooks.com/submissions

Exeter Novel Prize for the first 10,000 words, including synopsis, of an unpublished manuscript by an author not currently represented. The winner will receive £500 plus a trophy. Five finalists will each get £75. Entry fee: £18. Deadline: 1 January. Details: http://www.creativewritingmatters.co.uk (One of ninevoices made it to the final five last year, and has a rather splendid trophy to prove it, so it CAN be done)

One in Four new writer contest, run jointly by Trapeze, single parents’ charity Gingerbread and women’s lifestyle website The Pool are seeking a novel celebrating single parent families. Your first 5,000 words could earn a £10,000 publishing contract with Orion, plus three hours mentoring. CLOSING DATE IS 4 DECEMBER. Details: OneInFourSubmissions@orionbooks.co.uk

I could be wrong, but at such a busy time of year, surely these competitions will receive fewer entries than usual? Which might you a better chance of getting noticed?  So I suggest you follow Stephen King’s example, and keep entering these things until you get recognition.

Please remember to double-check all details.

Jane Austen’s husbands: why do clever men marry silly women?

01 Friday Dec 2017

Posted by ninevoices in Classics, Comedy, Jane Austen, Tanya

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Charlotte Palmer, Elizabeth Gaskell, Jane Austen, Lady Middleton, Miss Bingley, Mr Darcy, Mrs Allen, Mrs Bennet, Mrs Gibson, silly wives, Wives and Daughters

‘Men of sense do not want silly wives’ says the wonderfully sensible Mr Knightley, that infinitely dependable hero whom everybody in Highbury – and Jane Austen’s readers – know to be an infallible guide. But who is really speaking here? Is Jane Austen having a secret laugh with us behind Mr Knightley’s back? After all, his own brother, astute and perceptive as he is shown to be, has married Emma’s sister Isabella who ‘was not a woman of strong understanding or any quickness.’

Clever men have a habit of marrying silly women in Jane Austen novels. Not that they mean to; it’s as if Jane Austen observed from life that sensible, rational men can be remarkably stupid in matters of the heart. Mr Bennet married without taking the trouble to discover that underneath the sexual attractions of youth and beauty his wife was ‘a woman of mean understanding, little information and uncertain temper.’ Not really a man of sense then, one can’t help thinking.

Mr Palmer has fallen into the same trap: ‘through some unaccountable bias in favour of beauty, he was the husband of a very silly woman’. Is the ironic inclusion of the word ‘unaccountable’ Jane Austen having another sly laugh at men?

A woman’s appearance is almost always what initially attracts and matters most to Jane Austen’s men. Even Mr Darcy, who we suspect has thought much on the subject, says of Elizabeth ‘she is not handsome enough to tempt me’, before eyeing her up and down and deciding that her ‘figure is light and pleasing’.

Sometimes even the possession of beauty or sex appeal doesn’t explain why silly women secure men of sense as husbands. ‘Mrs Allen was one of that numerous class of females, whose society can raise no other emotion than surprise at their being any men in the world who could like them enough to marry them. She had neither beauty, genius, accomplishment nor manner.’ But this excessively boring woman who talks of nothing but her gowns has still managed to get a husband. Jane Austen’s explanation is simple and sarcastic enough. ‘The air of a gentlewoman, a great deal of quiet, inactive good temper, and a trifling turn of mind were all that could account for her being the choice of a sensible, intelligent man like Mr Allen.’

So how do these men of sense conduct themselves when they realise that while they may not have wanted a silly wife, they have got one by mistake? Honourably it appears, though Jane Austen is not in the business of writing explicitly about extra marital forays. Mr Bennet, we are told, ‘was not of a disposition to seek comfort, for the disappointment which his own imprudence had brought on in any of the pleasures which too often console the unfortunate for their folly or their vice. He was fond of the country and of books; and from these tastes had arisen his principal enjoyments’.

Reading offers itself as an escape. Mr Bennet shuts himself up in his library; Mr Palmer buries himself in the newspaper: Lady Middleton, snobbish and less amiable than her sister Charlotte but equally vacuous ‘exerted herself to ask Mr Palmer if there was any news in the paper. “No, none at all,” he replied and read on.’

Silly women in Jane Austen novels do not care for reading. It is quite impossible to picture Mrs Bennet holding a book. Lady Middleton dislikes the Dashwood girls because they are well-read. Miss Bingley pretends to read, but only picks up a book because it is the second volume of the one Darcy is reading. Characters who don’t read are shown to be ill-educated and superficial; Mr Darcy may sound intolerably condescending when he pronounces that a lady should improve her mind by extensive reading, but it is clear that Jane Austen is generally in agreement with this principle, even if she can’t resist poking fun at its unfortunate effects in Mary Bennet.

These men of sense who marry silly women may resort to grumpy rudeness (Mr Palmer) or ridicule and mockery (Mr Bennet) or playing at cards (Mr Allen) but Jane Austen largely ignores any serious unhappiness in their marriages. As for the wives, silliness and good temper sometimes offers its own protection. Charlotte Palmer, pretty and giggling, prattles away, her sheen of stupidity sealing her off from the consciousness of what is going through her husband’s head.

In Jane Austen’s day marriage was the necessary goal for women, and understandably enough they had to use every weapon they possessed to achieve it. ‘My aunt Philips wants you so to get husbands, you can’t think’ – Mrs Bennet, Charlotte Palmer and Mrs Allen succeeded in this at any rate, so you could say they have the last laugh.

Jane Austen is careful to show us these disappointed husbands being thoughtful to other characters if not to their wives. But there is a touch of cruelty in her suggestion that stupid women deserve all they get or are too thick to have real feelings, and should be regarded as mere figures of fun. Although Elizabeth Bennet knows that her father’s treatment of her mother is ‘reprehensible’, as readers we are encouraged to forget about this in our enjoyment of his wit.

These unequal marriages give us some of the funniest scenes in Jane Austen’s novels. If we want a more sombre, serious  look at the regret suffered by a man of sense marrying in haste we have to wait for Elizabeth Gaskell’s Wives and Daughters with its brilliant creation of Mrs Gibson  – but that penetrating combination of comedy and tragedy deserves a post of its own.

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